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Tuesday, April 25, 2006

TWO CANDLES 


This blog is two years old today. Or rather, it is now dragging itself on into a third year like Heather Mills McCartney and Jake the Peg in a mums and dads four-and-a-half legged race on school sports day.

I'd love to say that blogging has changed my life. Because of the big, happy, nice, smiling blogging community I should have become a more caring and selfless person.

Clearly it hasn't and I haven't.

That should do for another few days. Can't think of anything to post. Running out of ideas. Been blogging too long. Having embraced the naff, Heart FM end of blogging (memes, er, celebrating my blogday) I will soon be reduced to asking you to tell me about your most embarrassing experiences on a first date or pretending to be on a diet.

The traffic report will be along after the break.

Be at piece with your pipe.

Comments:
Bettster, may I be the first to congratulate you on the second anniversary of your blog. Thank you for making me welcome here - I regularly stop by.
 
Congratulations Betty. I love your blog, it's one of my super top favourites. And if you're stuck for content, could you perhaps revive 'Our Tune'?
 
Congratulations, Betty. There's too little sarcasm in the world so you're a breath of dank air. In another two years you'll be able to make a Four Candles joke and post a picture of one of the Ronnies.
 
There she goes again, seeking sympathy and assurance. No, it won't work with me, young lady. I never read your stuff. Do you think I have nothing better to do than hang around the internet all day?
 
congrats. two years eh? That's a long time. But all good bloggers have their blog days in april.

(Damn, I had pre-written my post for tomorrow and it included a Heather Mills joke, now everyone will think I stole it from you. Shall I re-write?)
 
Well done. Into the terrible twos. Keep up the good work. Your blog's like a nice pub with a shady garden at the end of a long walk on a hot day. Can't say fairer than that, as the orthophonist said to the patient who complained he couldn't pronounce Fs, Ts and THs.
 
Betty, you old curmudgeon. Admit it, you just love those family blogs by people who put up pictures of themselves, their spouses, their embarrassed tweenage children, their pets, their cars, their houses, a few holiday snaps, a couple of amusing snaps of themselves when very young (with a sardonic "Nice hair!" and then stop, suddenly, because they have nothing else to say to the world, and this, they realise it, is it, this is everything, until death, which couldn't come soon enough.

But they still leave the fucking blog up for years.
 
Congratulations on keeping us amused for 2 years. Or in my case, more like a year. (Must rummage around in your archives for the bits I missed.)

Will you be adding a "Prayer for the Day?" Or a "Shipping Forecast?"
 
Happy Anniversary from your longest standing reader.

Can I sit down now?
 
Congratulations! I don't think I'll make that far.

I have to stifle a laugh as you've done two posts on the subject of Mick Hucknall recently and, as every one who has ever listened to it knows, "Holding Back the Years" is the one song guaranteed to be played withing 20 minutes of switching on Heart FM. Go on, try it.

Do future posts on Elton and The Eurythmics andI will genuinely worry. Look after her, Geoff.
 
Betty, you old pro - congratulations Cliff Richard stylee.
 
*pops cork*
 
I dunno what you're getting so bleedin' gloomy about. The caravan thing was a milestone in the history of the blogger's art.
 
dont forget pictures of other peoples children. thats always so interesting.
congratses! new here but i don't mind sitting on the floor.
 
Tom - the Bettster, like Robbie Williams is the Robster? I suppose we do share some things in common ... mad staring eyes ... cocaine addiction ... both of us grew up in Staffordshire ...

Patroclus - hmm ... "so, there was nothing the doctors could do and they had to switch off his life support machine. She held his lifeless body in her arms. For that laydee, this is Lift Us Up Where We Belong By Joe Cocker And Jennifer Warnes".

Wyndham - yes, of course I've thought about the four candles joke, if I'm still going. If I'm not the website will be taken over by an online casino organisation though.

Vicus - I have better things to do with my time as well, and get a helper to type up my replies.

MB - there can never be enough Heather Mills jokes in the world. The sicker the better.

Interpreter Pavlov - most of the pubs with beer gardens I know are fairly unpleasant, cold and damp, even in high summer. Still, I live in Britain after all.

Tim - I shouldn't really pass judgement on those sort of blogs because I've been posting for 2 years and I have very little of interest to say to the world at large.

MJ - I wouldn't rummage around in the archive if I were you. Some of it is absolutely awful - even worse than the current stuff.

I would add a Shipping Forecast if I could get some men with sexy Welsh accents to read it out as a daily podcast thing. In fact, the involvement of sexy Welsh men in the production of this blog would definitely be encouraged.

Geoff - what do you want for yer tea tonight?

Richard - I didn't think I would still be going for this long as I usually think about giving up and deleting the blog at least once a week. Sadly, I've been too much of a coward to do that yet.

The Eurythmics ... mmm

Arabella - too right, I am an old pro. You are the second person to identify my day job recently. Spooky, eh?

Ranter - *reaches for paracetemol*
*kicks the bucket*

Thank you, all. You're too kind.
 
Mark - oh, I'm always gloomy, me. Nothing lifts the veil of gloom over here, ever. Black is what I wear on the outside because black is what I feel on the inside.

First Nations - if I was to post pictures of other people's children I might risk getting arrested.

Anyway, pull up a chair. There's a keg of Banks' Bitter and the Sisters Of Mercy are on the radiogram. It looks like being a long, miserable night.
 
Three cheers for Queen Betty on her blogday!

Much better than eighty years of the other one.....
 
Piece with my pipe? I only continue blogging to take the piss out of the typos.

Not that I ever make any, o no.
 
Betty - I have only one thing to say to you:

Caravans are WHITE.
 
Congratulations Betty. As someone who appreciates that sarcasm is the HIGHEST form of wit, your blog is always entertaining. Even the sight of Mick Hucknall's twatty face couldn't put me off reading.
 
>>There's a keg of Banks' Bitter and the Sisters Of Mercy are on the radiogram.<<

Recently I have taken to listening to 'Dominion/Mother Russia' on my way to work. Is there something wrong with me?

Still, some day...some day...some day... DOMINION!!!

Ahem.
 
Doppelganger - the commemorations for the other Betty's birthday were really grim. All those 90 year olds dancing at some ballroom in Nottingham. Now that was the long dark night of the soul.

Garfer - I know, I meant to write "have a piss through your pipe", an obscure reference to having a catheter fitted.

Mark - well, that's what's wrong with caravans, they should be BLACK.

Ben - cheers, I think I'll start putting pictures of Mick up on every post ... Young Mick ... Thoughtful Mick ... "Rave" Mick Doing That Fairground Song ...
 
Patroclus - I sometimes stick the 12 inch version of This Corrision on when I feel like a laugh. God, there aren't many things to enjoy in this world, are there?
 
aw betty, congrats! 2 years and your old cronies are still coming back to see you daily *raises mug* cheers!
 
Happy Birthday! Can i hear Sister Sledge 'We Are Family' for my mum, cos I love her, totally. And are you still doing guess the sound? Is it a frog being run over by an ice cream van? And what's Jamie Theakston really like? I know the papers said he was a whoremongering pervert, but he looks so lovely on those ads.

You're all Heart, Betty. We lurve you!
 
Kyahgirl - what's in the mug?

I'm not sure about visiting daily. Most of them probably pop by here once a week like a clergyman doing his weekly rounds for the lonely and impoverished.

Del - heh heh, you are wrong about the frog being run over by an ice cream van - it was Jamie Theakston being lashed with a cat o' nine tails in a dungeon in Soho. He loved it.
 
I expect Napalm Death have a black caravan hidden away somewhere in the vaults of the Castle of Doom.

Zfizz. A very happy feeling.
 
The Caravan Of Doom - the polar opposite of the Isley Brothers' Caravan Of Love?
 
Hang on. Let me get me guitar out. There's a song in there somewhere...
 
I haven't been here before but that's no reason not to wish you Happy Blogday. Congratulations and all that.
 
Thanks and welcome, Reluctant.

Sorry about Mark tuning up his guitar in the corner. The neighbours have already complained.
 
Come on Betts, organise another competition or something!
 
Hey, I'm still celebrating. In other words, I've put my feet up all week and am watching masses of DVD's/eating too much/not doing any housework/now weigh 48 stone. Blogging might be postponed indefintely.

There's a pile of washing up in the sink. Any volunteers?
 
well, how long exactly is the god damn break? I've been waiting forever for the weather report. ... or was it the traffic?
 
You know how i feel about washing up.
 
Kyahgirl - it's a very long break.

I've also decided to give up blogging until July, when I'll do a post for my birthday and exactly the same people will leave comments saying "happy birthday!!!"

Del - you'd probably drink the washing up liquid, right?
 
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