Wednesday, April 12, 2006


ordinary boy and girl

It has been announced that Preston and Chantelle off of Big Brother have got engaged to be married, and not engaged to be engaged, even though when they were on Big Brother about 5 minutes ago they were "just good mates, that's all".

This has absolutely nothing to do with publicity, as they have become huge A-list celebrities in the past few weeks because of their bucketloads of talent and charisma.

I'm sure my millions and millions and millions of readers worldwide will join me in sending my best wishes to the happy couple.

Still, really stupid, uncomplicated people find it very easy to fall in love and marry at an early age, don't they?

I have no idea who these people are. I think that in providing this service (keeping me informed about things in which I have no interest) you are epitomising the internet at its purest.
I went to a wedding last weekend. Another this weekend. That's it for me for the decade. Please tell these friends of yours that I will not be going to their wedding.
I know who they are thanks to Betty's Utility Blog as well as Hello, Now, New!, OK! and Heat! magazines. And whatever other publications have exclamation marks in their titles.
Oh piffle. I like a good wedding. Haven't been to one for ages. There's something about getting sloshed at the table at the back and laughing too loud at the best man's awful jokes that seems to me to be the epitome of Englishness.

If anyone knows this Preston and Chantelle, do you think I could get an invite?
ohhhh myyyyy gawwwddddd!!!
Vicus - I thought you said that you refuse to attend weddings?

MJ - perhaps I should put an exclamation mark at the end of my blog title ...

If Preston and Chantelle didn't exist, it would be necessary to invent them, unfortunately.

Mark - come on, weddings are awful, unless there is an argument between a couple caused by alcohol abuse. One couple gets married, another heads for the divorce courts. So the marvellous cycle of life continues.

Doppelganger - *stares into mid air and starts fiddling with hair extensions*
Yes! Betty's Utility Room!
I agree that a valuable service is provided here, and in English blog land in general. For instance, I found out yesterday that Mike Baldwin is dead. Dead!!
Last time I went home to Blighty I looked in on the Street and didn't know anybody, so this is worrying news.
Sumfin old, sumfin new
Sumfin borrud, sumfin blue.

I am proud to say that I watched every single minute of Celebrity Big brother, even sometimes in the morning when they were still asleep. My mind was well and truly boggled and still is.
Arabella - yes, suddenly everybody on the Street is talking about what a lovely bloke Mike Baldwin was, even though before they thought he was a money grabbing womanising cockney wideboy. At least Ken Barlow carries on - still uninteresting after all these years.

Kaz - it's dangerously addictive, and you end up hoping that one of the housemates will have a nervous breakdown. It brings out your worst instincts.
Still, really stupid, uncomplicated people find it very easy to fall in love and marry at an early age, don't they?

what are you saying here Betty? I was 20 when I got married. Are you saying I am really stupid and uncomplicated? :-)
Well, you'd be right. I was. Silly twat. It didn't last, not suprisingly!

Oh, thanks for the update on Big Brother. I hate those shows. In fact, TV is a waste of time most days.

Bit crabby today....

*wanders out shaking fist*
Betty, it seems I have come to rely on you to tell it like it is.
Well, I thought that this years Celebrity Big Brother was the best yet. And quite honestly no-one could have been happier when Preston and Chantelle got together - I mean, the chemistry etc. etc. I actually really fancied her myself for a while, but I went off her big time during her own six part series that followed. I think she did show up in that as a little one-dimensional.
You've probably already done a thread about CBB, but let's not forget all the other great characters who went towards making it such a superb viewing experience. Who were they now, the baywatch babe, Dennis Rodman, The weird welsh popstar that no-one had ever heard of, the gorgeous but utterly pathetic Fariah, George Galloway, Rula....
Kyahgirl - you know what they say, marry at haste and repent at leisure.

Blimey, the air really is thin up here on the moral highground.

Arabella - I've been telling it like it is for the past 500 years, and where has it got me? They didn't take any notice of me and look at the state of the world now!

*starts frothing at mouth*

Tom - it's strange how Celeb Big Brother captivates you for a few weeks and then is completely forgotten within a few days.

The Welsh popstar's band was dropped by their record label, George Galloway has got a job on Lincolnshire hospital radio and Fariah Alam had a short but torrid affair with Sam Allardyce.
Is that true about Fariah? She is one strange lady isn't she?
Tom - everything that I write about on this blog has been researched and is completely true.
No Betty, I will have to get a second opinion on Fariah and Sam. I just can't believe it. I'll try Google (30 second break while I go on google). Right that's it Betty, you've lied to me - there is no mention of it in Google and I told my mrs about it and now I'm going to look like a right prat.
I really am quite lost for words. My one experience of watching CBB coincided with Galloway twatting about in that red leotard, which was beyond comment. I didn't know of Preston's band before and I still don't now so as a publicity coup it would seemed to have failed miserably.
Tom - isn't the football punters' description of Sam Allardyce as "that walrus-faced c*nt" one of the best insults of all time?

Richard - I think it's great that all those failed celebrities go on the show sincerely believing that they'll become hugely famous and rich afterwards.
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