Wednesday, March 22, 2006


I'm feeling a bit left out of things because every other blogger in the world is either moving house, putting up their 9000th post or celebrating their birthday.

I have got nothing to celebrate. Not that I really mark occasions in any sort of way. I have to keep reminding myself if it's my birthday and I'm not organised enough to remember if there is a significant landmark date in my life.

Besides which, as everyone knows, this is a cold, austere blog and I don't give much away about myself. There is no warmth here, no group hugging. No birds do sing.

Mind you, two, like, really significant things happened yesterday in connection with this blog ...

I got my first abusive comment. I sent an overlong, sarky abusive comment back because I was in a grumpy mood. Waste of time really, isn't it? Like the proverbial two bald men fighting over a comb.

Also, I got the highest number of visitors to my site. Let's be honest here, this wasn't because of loads of enthusiastic new readers who have seen the light. I know this blog is of minor passing interest to most people in the (ahem) "middle class blogging demographic" and I have found my steady audience of 3 ranting drunk men and an elderly dog whose back legs are going. This blog is like one of those awful, interminable support bands who someone is throwing bottles at before the main act comes on, and they haven't been allowed to soundcheck and the big band has put all their gear up leaving the support band about 6 inches at the front of the stage for their stuff.

The reason for the personal best record is that I got huge numbers of search entries along the lines of "Adam Rickett anorexia", or, in the case of one very concerned person, "Adam Rickett is sick he looks ill".

If anyone knows if the rumours about Adam (real spelling - Rickitt) are true, please tell me. I did a search and it sent me back here.

I hope he's okay. The incredible acting skills he demonstrated on Coronation Street used to have me rolling around on the floor with mirth and he intends to become a Tory MP, which is even funnier. Get well soon, Adam. We all need more laughter in our life.

please direct me to the comments war. i'm bored, and i can probably inflame things further.

have i mentioned that i'm moving house? and that it was my birthday, and that i've done 200 posts, and that i've nearly been blogging for a year?

*kicks self hard to save betty the bother*
I seem to remember Adam Rickitt admitting to eating disorders in the past. It was quite well publicised when he was first in the Street. I've only briefly seen what he looks like now and I would say that he 'over-trained' for the show. Asking a former anorexic to take part in a show that demands strict eating and exercising regimes is probably not the best idea.
You do have my sympathy. I was going to celebrate my 1000th visitor but yesterday someone at Bravenet changed the code on my counter and I flatlined, statistically speaking. At least the sun's out.
1) Am I one of the drunken, ranting men, or the elderly dog with non-functioning limbs?

2) I suspect that this is some feminine ploy, whereby you post some pathetic "no one loves me, my blog is crap and insignificant" article, and all of your pals are supposed to gather round and tell you how wonderful you are. Now, given the demographics of your readership, how likely is that?

3) Don't laugh at Adam Rickitt - he may be PM one day. Sorry, that was a non-sequitur.
Get the Adam Rickitt bulimia story straight from the mouth of Adam himself here...
I think I'm just about bored enough to follow Mj's link :)
Surlz, if you're looking for boredom you've come to the right place. I'll take your coat and introduce you to the guests - Jeremy Clarkson, James Whale, a couple of marketing managers from a company that manufactures air conditioning units ...

Lost Boy and MJ - I'm starting to feel awful about mentioning Adam now, as I was unaware of his problems and haven't watched The Games. He was still absolutely ridiculous in Coronation Street though.

Vicus -

(1) The 3 men and a dog are a hypothetical audience. I think.
(2) It is just grumpiness. I go into self-pitying mode on about every 3rd post and no one takes any notice or tells me how wunnerful I am, thank God. If those sort of people started commenting I would have to give up.
(3) I think I would prefer him to return to his singing "career" ... but, then again ...
He's going out with a girl??
Who'd have thunk it, thats more shocking than an eating disorder.
Fuckkit - an openly gay Prime Minister? Now, that would be a first. I will probably get someone giving me a link to a site which tells me how Disraeli was out and proud now.
I'll restrain myself from providing the link.
RICHARD - sorry I forgot about you in the tumult. I have never bothered to work out how many visitors I have, or how many posts I've done. Happy 1000th visitor, anyway.

MJ - Ronnie Ronalde is having a three-way open relationship with Chris Ullman and Adam Rickitt. I think my head is about to fall off.
Apologies for making you feel like you had nothing to celebrate! (But thanks for your congratulations...)

As for describing three-quarters of your audience as ranting drunk men - that particular hat fits me rather well. You obviously know your public.

Good on you on giving that abusive commenter short shrift. Judging by what you write on here, I wouldn't have thought it wise to expose oneself to your withering tongue. (Er, if you'll pardon that rather unseemly visual image...)
Speaking as a ranting,drunk, elderly,dog ... you can send me a cold, austere, abusive comment any day.
Feel Free!
I wasn't going to react to your self pitying, but see, I've gone and left a bloody comment now.

I'm going to rechristen my blog "Broadmoor" it gets so few visitors (cough, cough)...
Ben - I feel a bit guilty about responding to a comment from someone who was probably a lot younger than me - it seems like bullying from someone old enough to know better and I hate bullying, although it might not seem like I do. I try not to be too much of a cow ... most of the time.

Kaz - I'm sure you're none of those things (don't know about drunken). I don't leave abusive comments on other sites because "it's not wurffit". Well, unless I can back them up with reasoned and intelligent arguments, and those are beyond my capacity.

Kellycat - welcome back from some Caribbean island paradise. I bet you thought it would be spring when you got back here, didn't you? Tried to get into the comments on your blog and couldn't. Blogger is in a right old state lately.
Could Ben provide me with an example of an unseemly image that wasn't in any way visual?

I just wrote that to save Vicus from having to do it.
Many congratulations on your wonderful, sensitive blog. I for one, never let a day go by without reading it. Sadly this is true.

I am moving house, it is my birthday and I've done more useless posts than a mailshot. This is also true.

Anyway - where is the abusive comment????? They now have the collective rage of myself, Surly Girl and Geoffers WetBlanket to deal with. Not to mention the limpy dog.
Back to Adam Rickitt. Egad...
Richard - blimey, it's like being back at school around here sometimes. I'm sure you'd have a field day picking up spelling and grammatical errors in my writing. I had a bogstandard state school education and I ain't not ever been to no university, mate.

Caroline - I don't know where all the useless posts you have done are. Perhaps you deleted them?

I think the abusive commenter has galloped off into the sunset, rather like a bloke who walks into a pub, says "you're all arseholes, the lot of yer!" then storms off out again. We would all be shouting at someone who wasn't there, which would be a bit STRANGE.

MJ - Perhaps the Sun has been manipulating its photos (not that that sort of thing ever happens in newspapers. Of course not). Also, it invents words - what on earth does "he bodged a dive" mean?
nothing wrong with shouting at people who aren't there. it's one of my favourite hobbies (slightly behind startling the blind and being unnecessarily mean to librarians).

now please, tell me where the comments war is - if i can't join in i at least want to read it...
Surly - check your e-mails, if you have the time in between sifting through your 190 comments ...
I don't know what "he bodged a dive" means but I do know that now you'll be the only one listed on a Google search for the term.
Betty so did I that's why I stick to the obvious ones. Total lack of self confidence.

At least you haven't got that bloody "smenita" stuck in your verification box like wot Vicus has.
I presume "bodged a dive" means he made a hash of the diving competition and nicked his pretty little head on the side of the pool.
that's weird....beep had "smenita" stuck in his comments...

ooh! it's like war of the worlds!

and blogger won't publish. stupid blogger.

*continues to sift through 478 comments*
MJ 'n' Geoff - perhaps the Sun thinks that "bodge" is a word that East London handymen would use, as in "well the husband dunnit, you know what it's like, think they can save a few quid. It's a right bodge job".

Richard 'n' Surly - someone else has mentioned smenita today. Odd word - a cross between a fiery Latino temptress with flashing eyes and, erm, smeg.

Sorry you don't have anything to celebrate. but maybe you could celebrate being "smenita" central?

I had trouble with it at mine today and Spike had it at his. What's going on?

Anyway, just thought I'd make myself known as I've previously only been a lurker.
I had Smenita stuck in my comments. You should see what's in my teeth. Actually Surly I've just moaned about getting a dose of Smenita over at your place while I was politely allowed on at GSEs place.
I thought it was personal. Or Heather Mills Bomb is following us around.

Hi Betty *waves*
Welcome, Inexplicable. I seem to have escaped having smenita related problems over here yet, so I don't know exactly what's happening. If I'm smenita central, then I won't be much use -I'll just tell people to take a couple of paracetemol and rest in a darkened room for a bit.

Beep - "hiya". The last thing I want is Heather Mills Lady Macbeth dragging her artificial leg over hear and lecturing me about fur coats and what have you. Has she got smenita?
Hi Betty.

Nothing intelligent to say here. Fine just as usual.

You people have to stop worrying about your blogs, right now! I insist.
I was away for a few days and missed you all.
Kyahgirl: are you sure, are you absolutely sure??
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