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Tuesday, January 10, 2006

THIS UNSPORTING LIFE 

Have drafted some other posts which I will publish soon. Still, a few odds and ends from "real life" to bore you with in the interim.

* The THUMP, THUMP, THUMP of the child next door playing football in the living room until one o'clock in the morning came to a halt this week. The woman who lives in the upstairs maisonette had said that she had informed the police, so I don't know if that had something to do with it. Perhaps the child (aged about 7) has been taken away to a remand centre, or maybe it has been put down like a savage rottweiler. I do hope so. Still, it must be a letdown for the old woman: she really had something to get her teeth into, complaints wise, and now will have to go back to watching in case anyone parks in HER space in the parking bay, probably putting up even more notices warning car owners not to even THINK about leaving their car in the vicinity.

Or possibly the child returned to its mother for a week or two, and the walls will once more resound to the THUMP, THUMP, THUMP of the next generation's Wayne Rooney soon. Which is more likely.

* The neighbour who didn't speak to us for four years, for no apparent reason, has finally moved and been replaced with a couple who have a son who is about 11. They keep themselves to themselves (very encouraging ... so far) and are called Bev and Darren. The only reason we know this is that they put a card through the door at about 8 o'clock on Christmas eve, which meant I had to scribble an emergency card and put it through the door surreptitously an hour later.

* Have been watching a lot of telly, as per. Was impressed by the 1972 film Prime Cut, which was odd, funny, and involved Lee Marvin and Sissy Spacek being pursued by a dungareed in-breed in a combine harvester and Lee Marvin having a shoot out in a field of sunflowers with a load of dungareed in-breeds where he had the unfair advantage of using a machine gun. The scene where Gene Hackman eats a plate of what appears to be stewed entrails is a useful one for all you laydees who are dieting to tape, as it is very offputting. Mind you, no doubt you have all watched it a dozen times. There are huge numbers of movies I've never seen, as I wasn't allowed to watch films on telly as a child - I've only seen one James Bond film, for instance, and only saw the Great Escape for the first time last year.

Also enjoyed Bleak House, as everyone else seems to have done, and the M. R. James short stories which were re-shown over Christmas. Now the only thing that seems to be on telly is Celebrity Big Bro, so I can get on with taking up a new hobby such as macrame or collecting thimbles or some other Del Prado nonsense. Next!

* The mother-in-law is considering going to see the new Ang Lee gay cowboy flick at the cinema and Woody Allen's alleged "return to form" film. Has she started to buy Time Out? The computer is still nowhere near being set up, and probably needs another half dozen cables, at least. If they ever do go on-line, it will be like Cape Canaveral around their house.

* The husband has got to sit in on a meeting with Sharon today, possibly in the capacity of bouncer if things get a bit out of hand. Here's hoping Sharon's big, violent husband doesn't turn up to support her. Best of luck, G!

That's it.

Comments:
I didn't know Sharon was up and talking, yet. Get Mr Betty to pass on my best wishes.
 
It isn't Ariel Sharon - it's Sharon who has been having an ongoing dispute about some sick pay. Hopefully it will all get sorted out without Mr Betty having to end up in accidents and emergencies ...
 
I vaguely remember that film but even with my emphysema I'm thinking I may be able to outrun a combine harvester. These films with chases set in fields of corn do my head in because everyone pretends they can't get out of the field and run around in circles. All you have to do is focus on the nearest tree and run towards that. Although, fair enough, there may be a dungareed inbreed behind it. That's where they usually are. Making moonshine and whatnot.

*wyndham wonders briefly whether he should impose more rigorous quality-control on his comments*
 
Wyndham - I should imagine fields of corn are so much bigger in America, with fewer trees to focus on. Besides, as this was the film industry in the 1970's no doubt the actors would have been so zonked up to the eyeballs on drug cocktails that they would have no sense of direction.

The best combine harvester chase scene was in a British film, the Somerset-based The Wurzels - The Movie (1976). Oo arrr.
 
cackled evilly at your comment about the 'emergency christmas card'. been there, done that!
 
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