Saturday, January 07, 2006


... that title has something to do with the subject matter and might draw in a few punters who would otherwise peruse Girl With A One Track Mind. Just think about it - I'm saving you from your own mortal sin! Put the tissues away!

Anyway, 2006 is going to be the year that all my dreams come true, at long last.


On Monday night I dreamt that I was strolling along the front of a coastal resort in Tenerife with my mother. She has been turning up in my dreams frequently despite being dead for 26 years: I only knew her for 16 years "on the earthly plain" as barmy old women would describe it. Phew! Spooooky! She was young, slim and lovely (rather like she was in photos before she gave birth to me. Yet another reason I'm glad I haven't had children - she went from fitting into a size 8 wedding dress to being a "mumsy" (eugh) size 16, always following some unsuccessful diet or another). She was wearing a lovely 1950's style flouncy green dress with one of those big swishy skirts and had a tiny waist. We had the following conversation:

ME: "God, the architecture here is more like something you'd find in Istanbul than anything Spanish!"

HER: "Oh don't be ridiculous! Don't you realise that there is a heavy Islamic influence on a lot of Spanish design. Look at Gaudi, for example."

ME: "Yeah, but I'm just thinking of some of the Spanish towns I've visited."

HER: "Such as?"

ME: "Erm ... er ... Barcelona and Madrid".

We are to conclude that my mother has turned into a middle class travel writer and I am a clueless nerd who tries to bluff my way through conversations with people who know a hell of a lot more than me.

The latter is DEFINITELY TRUE.


Wednesday night: the Sun newspaper reports that the guitarist and bass player from the very first line up of the Fall have died on the same day - both had been "celebrating" their 54th birthdays as well. Spooooky! Guitarist Alan Gardner had been a painter and decorator since being booted out of the Fall in 1975, and had died of a heart attack. Bass player Jim Green was living in reduced circumstances after years of heroin use. He died of a massive overdose.

We are to conclude overall that I make a number of factual errors in my dreams, and should possibly consult Wikipedia before retiring to bed.

Dear reader, I hope all YOUR dreams come true in 2006.

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