Saturday, December 10, 2005


This is a heartfelt plea from the heart.

Tonight, the Record Of The Year is going to be on ITV, and it is going to be voted for by the likes of YOU.

The show is being presented by Vernon Kay, and, I don't know about you, but an hour rarely goes by when I don't think of what I could do if I ran my hands through that dishevelled mop of chestnut hair!!

Anyway, I am going to ask YOU, the reader, to consider voting for She Is Beyond Good And Evil by the Pop Group.

Unfortunately, the affable Bristol guys are up against some stiff competition! The other finalists include:

Two Islands In A Sea Of Indifference - Barbra Streisand and Barry Gibb
Drop A Dress Size For Christmas - Michelle McManus
Just A Ribena, Red Bull And Surgical Spirit Spritzer For Me Love. Oh, Go On, Make It A Double - Charlotte Church
Walking Through Town Is Quite SCAREY, A Man In A Tracksuit APPROACHED Me - Kaiser Chiefs
You Climb Me Up The Highest Mountain - Westlife
My Wife Is Brilliant ... My Wife Is Brilliant ... - James Blunt

Anyway, I urge you to get dialling and make those dreams come true for Gareth, Mark and the lads.

You know it makes sense!

Not an hour goes by when I don't think of what I could do with my hands around Vernon Kay's neck.

Are Mr and Mrs Barry Onions going to be voting?

They will be voting for Pearl Carr and Teddy Johnson, and Michelle McManus respectively.
Jmaes Blunt and a toasting fork were made for each other. I'd like to watch him sizzle as he crooned 'Your Beautiful'.
Sorry, I missed it. I was out. That said, even I'd been in, I would've missed it. As it's on ITV. The 3 button on my remote shall outlast all the others...
James Blunt is now officially rhyming slang.
Garfer - "James Blunt and a toasting fork were made for each other" - that sounds like it is from an M & S recipe book. I would like to see him stuffed and roasted for presentation like that bloke in The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover, although it's a bit mean to think like that at Christmas time.

Del - ITV is a very strange channel. Trying to watch most of its programmes is like being under anaesthetic. Nothing is quite real.

Kellycat - I think of him as a complete Merchant Banker and an annoying little Eartha Kitt myself.
I think you're being mean to Mr Blunt... when you look like a horse that's just been shot there's only so many ways to get at the girl pot: sensitive voice-cracking singer songwriter is a lot better than the ole C&C (chloroform and club) approach, amuch adopted by ugly guys round here...

Besides, the babylonian Westlife (even the name stings the back of my throat) - just a bundle of hair and tanning wax and dilute cheese - have to be worse, don't they?
I think that what annoys a lot of people about James Blunt is the fact that he is Harrow educated and was an army officer. There's enough bad music made by people who would otherwise be working in call centres without poshoes getting in on the act. It's probably only a matter of time before Prince Harry puts the Nazi uniform years behind him and brings out an r & b record. At least the Prince of Wales only used playing polo as a way of copping off with women.

As for the sinister Westlife, everything about them is as pleasant as banging your thumbnail repeatedly in a door. Or having an episode of sleep paralysis. Or being trapped under a railway carriage and there isn't any feeling in your legs. Etc., etc.
Kaiser Chiefs for me all the way...sorry Betty
In the past, I've heard one of their songs and though "that's quite catchy really" but I put it down to having a senior moment or an off day. I'm fighting it, though.
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