Tuesday, November 08, 2005


Last night I dreamt that 1960's girl group the Paper Dolls had been tracked down by Woman's Own magazine. Completely by-the-by, the Dolls' song Something Here In My Heart (Keeps-A-Tellin' Me No) is a thing of beauty and a joy forever.

In the Woman's Own article, the band (let's just imagine they are called Maureen, Eileen and Doreen) have been persuaded to pose in some outfits they wore in 1968. I should imagine they would be in their late 50's now, so it might not be a good idea. See what you think.

This puts me in mind of Madonna, currently promoting her song with the Abba sample in and wearing leotards which suggests that she has, as they would say on Kath & Kim, "had her welcome mat done". Her appearance at the MTV Europe Awards also suggests that she has ignored one aspect of dressing which women normally try not to overlook, as it may be a bit too intimate, shall we say. This may not have stopped her before, but Madge is 47 now. She claimed that the leotard she was wearing was from her "personal archive", or, as anyone ordinary would say "I found it down the back of the wardrobe covered in dust. Bloody hell! I thought I gave that to the St John's Ambulance Shop years ago!" She also said "I can still get into it!"

One of the first rules of dressing like a lady - just because you can "get into" something which you thought was too small for you, it doesn't follow that it will suit you, or that a seam or some buttons will not rip open at an inopportune moment.

Sobriety, modesty, a lot of navy blue and plenty of gold buttons. That's the way to go for the woman who is over 30. Please bear this in mind: I know I have.

Ohh, you Great Big Liar Betty. I don't believe for one moment you are currently wearing a blazer with a nattily tied Hermes scarf around your neck.
Anyway, I can't stand around here chatting - busy day ahead and I've let to get my crushed velvet loons done up; might have to use the old shoe lace trick.
As a naturalised Brit, Mrs Richie should restrict her attire to a twinset and pearls.
Betty - very wise words ones I intend consider seriously.
oh lawd - you are just joining my MIL and SIL adding to the cacophony: getyourselfanicenavyblazerwithgoldbuttons (M&S are doing a special on his and hers)

oh, and team them up with a crisp white shirt (TUCKED IN) and a pair of cream chinos and brown penny loafers

i will NEVER be that woman - NEVER NEVER NEVER

you hear that, MIL??
p.s. i think the phrase is: touched a nerve

I got a nice trench coat in M&S. but getting back on subject, I cringe at teh thought of some of the shirts I used to wear in teh eighties...Black with blue and Yellow Paisley anyone....arrrgggggghhhhhhhhh
Oh, Madge. Not enough material, girl.
Caroline, Jane, Urban Chick - come along now, accept the fact that box pleated skirts are IT and it is time to put aside foolish things. Pay a visit to K-Shoes and start introducing some Jaeger and Gor-Ray into your wardrobe. You won't regret it.

Garfer - Madonna seems to be over her British Duchess In Stately Home phase since she fell off that horse. Now she is back doing what she does best, hem hem.

Aginoth - I had hair like Carole Decker of T'Pau in the 1980's. Let he/she who is without sin cast the first stone.

Geoff - I hope she has plenty of Canesten pessaries stocked up at home.
can i have some gold shoes too? when is the threshold age for wearing gold shoes? and sparkly tracksuits?
Betty you'll be glad to know that Carol Decker of T'Pau in the 1980s still has hair like Carol Decker of T'Pau in the 80s.
Surly Girl - I don't think there's an age limit on gold shoes and sparkly tracksuits, mainly because they sound ideal wear for a pensioner on a cruise ship - "gold sandals look super with a sun tan!!"

Wyndham - I should point out that I may have had disgusting scrunch dried hair big in the '80's but at least it wasn't disgusting bright orange scrunch dried big hair.
Backpeddling, I should say that I have nothing against anyone with ginger hair, apart from Chris Evans and "Simply Mick" Hucknall, predicatably enough.
And Ane Robinson, of course.
That should read Anne, of course. As far as I know, she has no Swedish counterpart.
... plus there would probably be an umlaut involved in it somewhere, and you don't want that, do you?
Not in the slightest.
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