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Wednesday, October 19, 2005

UNINTERESTING - THE SEQUEL 

Part two: the "is Freddie 'Parrot Face' Davis still alive then ?" years.

7. Being an only child was great, and I'd recommend it to anyone, but it means I don't have the strong competitive streak which is necessary to become a success in life and the workplace (hem hem).

8. My mother had the careful working class snobbery of an Alan Bennett character. Hence I wasn't allowed to watch ITV at home as a child because it was considered "too common". Hence I didn't have much to talk about with other kids in the playground. Next!

9. My dad grew up in a Serbian family on a smallholding farm in Croatia. So, if someone describes me as a peasant, it's only half an insult. I'm actually half peasant, half oik.

10. ... but I don't speak Serbo-Croat. My dad was hellbent on bringing me up as English, rather than "celebrating the cultural diversity in my household" as social workers would no doubt describe it. Considering what happened in the 1990's war, I'm rather grateful for that. Next!

11. Yes, I was one of those mopey teenagers who thought that nobody understood them, and I spent too long agreeing with Ian McCulloch that "my life's thuh disease that could always change, with comparative ease, just given the chance" (he probably wrote it in 10 seconds on the back of a fag packet while drunk). Unfortunately, I'm still basically a mopey teenager but at least I gave up analysing Ian McCulloch's awful lyrics a long time ago.

12. I have a morbid fear of the Big C - even more so than the average, because both my parents had long and horrible "battles" with the disease. Still, it's all character building stuff. Next!

13. ... which has lead to me becoming a complete hypochondriac. Not the sort who is always mithering the doctor, but the sort who is too afraid to see the GP if I have got, say, a bit of a cough because I immediately fastforward to myself sitting in a room in the hospital with a doctor who can't look me in the eye and who nervously says "aah, the results ... would suggest that it's really only a matter of time, but, on a more positive note, there is medication you can take which will help to take the edge off the pain, and your relatives can come onto the ward at any time to be with you." HELP!!

14. I was once chatted up by a conductor on a local train who asked me if I knew of any good porn cinemas in Birmingham. Woooh, CLASSY. A lucky escape - he was insistently asking for my phone number as the train drew up at Walsall station but I never saw him again and moved to Australia to make sure I never would, etc etc.

Well I've broken the back of it now. More later. Only one more lot, don't worry.

Comments:
I didn't know there were special Porn Cinemas - I thought you had to either hire a dodgy video from an internet rental company or make your own entertainment...

Obviously now I know that there are such things I will ask everyone, everywhere I go, where they are.

Do you have to wear a mac?
 
I'm an only child, apart from my two sisters. It has installed a competitive streak in me but it has also made me very scared of women.
 
hurrah for only children!! it's just two lunatic parents that will fuck small person up then.

i went to school with kids who weren't allowed to watch grange hill. my mother didn't care what we watched as long as it meant we weren't talking to her. i also spent a year or so pretending i was allowed to watch "the young ones" (it was past bedtime) by repeating quotes i'd heard other people saying.

needless to say i was mostly friendless and a bit odd as a child*

*this may well have extended to adulthood but i choose not to think about it
 
The former Mrs Triffid came from a Croatian family. They were always getting pointlessly emotional about something and shouting and weeping every five minutes. Oddly enough, I think they considered me a bit of a cold fish.
 
Funny Thing - The famous Porn Cinema chain ran out of steam around the mid '90's, due to the arrival of the internet, where, if that is your preference, there are all kinds of "needs" catered for. I should imagine you can indeed wear a mac even if viewing filth from your computer screen, if you really want to.

MB - If you're talking scary women, you should see some of the hard faced, chain smoking Teddy Sheringham lookalikes around here. They love their kids though.

Surly Girl - I don't think there's anything wrong with only children, although some people strongly disapprove, as they think the child will end up lonely and unhappy - what about all those siblings I've encountered who fight like cat and dog then?

Wyndham - The only time I've visited the erm "homeland" I was greeted by weeping, wailing women who kept embracing me. Embarrassing. Later, they were all laughing hysterically recalling how an Italian soldier had been decapitated with an axe by a local nutter during World War 2 for stealing some eggs from a barn.

It takes all sorts I suppose.
 
This is great stuff Betty, but you know over on he's given us a list of 100 interesting facts about himself!
 
Sorry, the link didn't come out!

Should say, over on childsplay
 
You see? You SEE? This stuff is fascinating! Serbo-Croat, who would have guessed? Only child! Spooky men! Fear of cough! No ITV (me niether, although I suspect they didn't have it in my day.)

Yes definately 100 things please.

*the tone of this comment sounds strangly sarcastic, it's not meant to *
 
is Freddie 'Parrot Face' Davis still alive then ?"

Well he was a while ago. He was in the Film Funny Bones, can't remember what his proper name is. Great hair! He used to hide it under his hat. From useless trivia generator :)
 
Those were the days: Freddie Parrot Face Davis, Dickie Valentine, Mike And Bernie Winters, Vince -

*Wyndham falls down dead*
 
Missus A - I should imagine a list of 100 uninteresting things would give me and the reader a nervous breakdown.

Caroline - Perhaps I have succeeded in making myself seem more interesting than I am? I've not made anything up yet (... or have I?)

Organisedpauper - According to the Google search, Freddy "Parrot Face" Davies has appeared in one of the Harry Potter films, but, more importantly, he has been in Last Of The Summer Wine and Heartbeat. Oh, and he is apparently a big hit on the after dinner speakers' circuit, with "plenty to say". I should hope so ...

Wyndham - was that Vince Hill, Vince Hilaire or Vincent Van Gogh?
 
i bet it was vince neill off of motley crue
 
... or Jack Duckworth in his guise as nightculb singer Vince Prince.
 
It was Vince off Just Good Friends.
 
[quote]11. Yes, I was one of those mopey teenagers who thought that nobody understood them, and I spent too long agreeing with Ian McCulloch that "my life's thuh disease that could always change, with comparative ease, just given the chance" (he probably wrote it in 10 seconds on the back of a fag packet while drunk). Unfortunately, I'm still basically a mopey teenager but at least I gave up analysing Ian McCulloch's awful lyrics a long time ago.[quote/]

You are clueless.
 
Hey, G, you are pretty much on the money there. This blog is basically a load of clueless, slapdash bollocks. Indeed, I couldn't figure out where in the archive this comment came from so it's a good job I found out from my stats that you came from a google search. After all, it was from 5 months ago and I'd forgotten all about it.

Any road, as I'm clueless, it's a pity you can't enlighten me as to when or where or why Mr McCulloch wrote the lyric I mentioned. It seems you have a former/forthcoming(?) site called The Happyloss. Naming a blog after a Bunnymen lyic suggests you might be one of those fans who unquestioningly accepts everything a band has ever done is absolutely wonderful and must always be taken seriously and invested with great weight (nooo, I'm only joking! Of course you're not like that!).

Still, will you take it all back if I say that I'm sure Mr McCulloch has never smoked a cigarette and an alcoholic beverage has never passed his lips?

Keep bringin' the love,
Betty xxx
 
This comment has been removed by the author.
 
Yeah, but it still turned up on my e-mails! I can only commend you for replying to a comment I wrote about a year ago (I think ...)

Anyway, let's just agree to differ, eh? In the past few weeks I've had to deal with stalkers and blogging "office politics" so I don't want any more hassle. I wrote that comment in a bad mood and shouldn't have posted it. Assumed you had a blog because that's what your name linked to.

Pretty much loved them from the first single through to the third album. They were untouchable. I'll always hold those records dear because along with Joy Division, The Fall, PIL, Magazine, Associates and a few others that soundtrack was a respite to a fairly shite time (late teens/early twenties being a fairly shite time for most people).

Anyway ... that footage of them performing Do It Clean at Sefton Park on YouTube. A bit fucking good, weren't they?

luv,
B
 
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