Betty's Utility Room

Every so often I have to do a music post, so I'm going to get it out of the way for a bit now. This will alienate virtually all of you: those who dislike music and those who like music but reckon you have impeccable taste (face it, most music lovers believe they have impeccable taste). My own musical preferences these days are the equivalent of that old woman who hangs around outside the off license threatening to let the teenage boys who take the mick out of her see what is up her skirt.

A playlist then. You can all all screw up you pert little Sienna Miller-like noses in disgust. Like the view up the old woman's skirt, it is not a pretty sight.

Don't Cha - The Pussycat Dolls
The nation's number one. Not as good as the version I first heard previewed for a couple of weeks on Tim Westwood's show. It was accompanied by his usual sound effects: that bloke telling you to haul your ass out of the room if you don't like strong language; klaxon noises; a voice saying "PUUUULLL UUUUUP!" repeatedly; the sound of a car apparently crashing into a wall; Westwood himself shouting "say it Busta!!" overenthusiastically. Still the best pop single of the year though.

In-A-Gadda-Da-Vidda - Iron Butterfly
Song apparently named after a drug addled fool attempted to say "in the garden of Eden" to a member of Iron Butterfly at a psychedelic "happening". Completely daft.

Pon De Replay - Rihanna
Second best single in the top ten.

We Be Burnin' - Sean Paul (aka Shaaan-A-Paaal)
Third best single in the top ten. Return to form for the chipmunk-faced former water polo player. Lyric recommends the legalization of Mary J, whatever that is.

Music - John Miles
Made me feel like crying when I heard this on Spanish radio recently, because music is my first love, and it will be my last. Everyone of a certain age has to come to terms with the fact that this song is magnificent.

The Deram Anthology - David Bowie
There is normally an album by the one-time very delectable Mr Bowie (well, before he had his teeth straightened, anyway) on the go, but I've swung back to the earlier stuff of late. This is horribly twee in places, with all that Laffing Gnome stuff and bloody Hermione Fotheringay or whatever her name is. That's part of its charm though. Includes the fine early version of "Space Oddity". I remember a promotional film for this in which David sang "tell my wife I love her very much" while cavorting with a couple of space age dolly birds. Ding dong!

Dare - Gorillaz
Decreed in our house as not being as rubbish as their usual stuff. Gorillaz are a cartoon band, but, and not many people know this, they are actually teen street tearaways Damon Albarn, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, Alan Yentob and Martin Amis. Fifteen ASBOs between the lot of 'em!

All By Myself - Eric Carmen
Big hair, enormous song.

Love Kraft - Super Furry Animals
Now been going for so long that every album they bring out is described as "a return to form". Fairly good, as usual. Single Laser Beam is one of their best, however.

In Search Of Space - Hawkwind
Knockdown bargain from HMV. Good for everything that ails you.

Late Registration - Kanye West
Actually, I have a complaint about this one. There are probably three great albums in here, but in itself it is too long for someone with my short attention span. After the seventh hour of listening to it, I feel like punching Kanye in the face, which is very nasty of me as he had his jaw wired together after that car accident.

Coming soon: my long, very earnest post on the recent forty hour Bob Dylan documentary, directed by the great Michael Winner. Judas! Judas! Show us yer backside!