Wednesday, August 17, 2005


When will it ever end? Blunt of the Cavalry has now been number one on the hit parade with his song "My Wife Is Brilliant ... My Wife Is Brilliant" since 1946.

I could understand why, in the post-war years, an ex-serviceman would evoke public sympathy, but that is not a reason to still be buying this wet piece of limp lettuce of a song in the twenty first century.

Indeed, who IS buying it? I never hear it blaring out of cars around here (although, admittedly, this is Saarff Laahndan, so the only thing you hear blaring out of pimped up Renault Meganes is hip hop played at concrete splitting volume). No, I think the James Blunt fans are a sneaky lot - I put them on a par with those bastards who used to vote for Mrs Thatcher in the 1980's, but never owned up to it.

Following New Labour logic, I think that justice has to be seen to prevail. Very little has been said about Mr Blunt's dismissal from the army, and I think this speaks volumes.

He is obviously a deserter. He must be court-marshalled, and in time honoured fashion, must face a firing squad.

How long till the Frog remixes it?
LANCE-CORPORAL BLUNT: I want to be the new Al Stewart.

MAJOR FOTHERINGTON-SMYTHE: I see. Year of the bloody prat, eh?

LANCE-CORPORAL BLUNT: Hopefully more than a year, sir.
MB - I may regret saying this, but the Frog re-mix would be an improvement. It would be more upbeat, and the song would be over with sooner.

Geoff - I know it's not Christmas yet, but Jona Lewie's song "Stop The Cavalry" should be adopted as the theme of an anti-Blunt protest movement.
I thought he was the new Chris de Burgh. Which is a much more awfuller fate for all of us.

Wish I could be dancing now
in the arms of the girl I love
Dub a dub a dum dum
Dub a dub a dum
Dub a dum dum dub a dub
Dub a dub a dum
Dub a dub a dum dum
Dub a dub a dum
Dub a dum dum dub a dub
Dub a dub a dum
Wish I was at home for Christmas

Now THAT's what I call a lyric...
Recently I was mulling over whether or not to buy a cut price best-of collection by Al "Year Of The Cat" Stewart (as he always ends up being called)at one of HMV's endless sales. Unfortunately, being old and confused, I ended up buying "A Hogmanay Party!" by Andy "Donald, Weer's Yer Troosers?" Stewart. At least it will make my new year party go with a swing, on another festive note ...
Well I wasn't listening to Blunt in the car this morning on the way back from walking the dog.
No, I wasn't. Was not.

Nice site Betty.
Thank you, Caroline, for your compliment, your honesty and your courage.
I've done a bit of research. And I've come up with these conclusions (yawn):-

1. More than one angel - It's no good having one angel in a song anymore (Angel Eyes, Angel Fingers, There Must Be an Angel Cloying At My Heart). Now you need at least 2 (Robbie's Angels and Blunt's Beautiful). Blunt's Angels are a) the beautiful creature he has laid nothing but his eyes on, and b) the angel with a smile on her face who led James to his vision.
2. The universal theme of unrequited love.
3. The use of the universal word 'subway' rather than the parochial 'underground'.
4. 'It's true'. Means nothing, but the use of the word 'true' never did Spandau Ballet any harm.
5. 'You're Beautiful'. He is singing this to every woman who buys it. Young and old. You're all beautiful.
6. Post-July 7th, 22nd: let's look forward. There is not only murder on the 'subway'. There is also the chance of love.

What seems to be lost on James' fans is that the man is quite clearly doped up to the eyeballs. 'She could see from my face that I was...F**king high'.
THAT'S why he's got no chance with her.
THAT'S why he was kicked out of the army.
One minute he says he's not worried she's got another man as he's got a plan. The next he doesn't know what to do.
And now we're giving him enough money to buy any drug he desires!

Sorry, Betty.
The twat that roared.
I can only guess that Mr Blunt is all at sea about the object of his affections: he doesn't know if she is flesh and blood, or an omnipresent spirit. He doesn't know if he cares she is with another man or not because, he is, as it were "drunk with love".

On the other hand, he may, as you suggest, be a drugged up long haired layabout who has no place in the army. Get a proper job you bloody lout!
He is not all at sea, he is here in The Land of the Long White Cloud.
Apparently. So I've heard.
My hunch is he just chose a bunch of words that scanned nicely. Then he adopted a fashionable Damien Rice type voice at the microphone and mentioned to his record company that he used to be a squaddie.

The rest is history...
Doyen - I am glad to hear that Mr Blunt is a great distance away from me.

Mark - The lyrics of Mr Blunt's song - available at http://www.seeklyrics.com - include the lines "she could see from my face that I/was fucking high". Oh dear - from someone schooled at Harrow, too.
Damien Riceo fashionable? And we think we're civilised?
Damien Rice-o? Is that what he is known as in Liverpool? As in "R.A., I'm dead into all them singer songwriters - Rice-o, Bluntee, Badly Drawn Boysee la'. Sound!"

(in memory of "Brookside").
With the exception of Mr de Burgh (and on that small sample I conclude that the other subjects of these posts are equally odious) I have never heard the works of any of these people, and barely heard of them.
I know that that information is of no interest to anyone, but I am beginning to feel part of a very lonely minority here.
Vicus, believe me, you're not missing much at all.
i had the misfortune of "catching" mr b's "set" at our local footie ground last year when me and fifi went to see elton john (my partner david furnish was lurking at the side of the stage throughout). james blunt had brought six friends with him which was handy as otherwise nobody would have paid the slightest attention to his sixth-form poetry set to lift music.

imagine my astonishment when he ended up at the top of the hit parade. the twat.
Aah, but the lack of interest didn't put him off - he realised that one day his dream would come true and he would find his true audience - grans who would say "oooh, he's really nicely spoken compared to a lot of those youngsters". A happy ending for him, but not for us.
The only justice is that he's now entered cockney rhyming slang dictionary alongside Rick Witter and Gary Glitter.

I "caught" his set at Glastonbury (ie I was lying somewhat comatose and couldn't actually move). It compounded the agony of my hangover and actually made me wish for the return of the awful bellydancers that had tortured me earlier in the day with the wailing and shouting.
Del is the second person here to have suffered from the Cult Called Blunt Live Experience (or words to that effect). Perhaps a counselling service should be put in place.

Still, at least I have managed to will him off the top of the singles chart due to a bit of sorcery.
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