Wednesday, June 29, 2005


Apologies: this is yet another music related post. But what a great summer for music this has been!!!

It is only a few days since Tim, Tom and Tasha were holding their lighters aloft, swaying along to Keane at Glastonbury. It would be a bit mean of me to suggest that they would have been better off holding hand grenades aloft instead but ... ahh, what memories!

Soon enough, however, and THE music event of the year will be upon us. Yes, Live 8 is "rocking all over the world" (apart from Lincolnshire) and world poverty will be over, just like that, in one fell swoop. And no wonder - it is all being steered by the very great Sir Bob Geldorrrff.

The reason Sir Bob Geldorrrff is very great is that he is from an era in which pop music provided a steady stream of "new wave" frontpersons whose names could easily be got wrong by parents - Ian Drury, Phil Oakley of the Human League and Blondie Out Of Blondie (as in your mum's "It's a shame, that Blondie Out Of Blondie is a nice looking girl, but she has got hair like a bird's nest").

Sir Bob sat down for hours with gorgeous, dreamy Midge Ure out of Slik discussing which of the top acts of today should represent Britain in this much more serious version of "International It's A Knockout". With their fingers on the pulse of what is happening in the streets, clubs, alleys, scout huts and recreational halls of the country, they came up with the final, definitive list. Although there is no grime, eski or bashment, innit?, it provides a cosmopolitan overview of what is happening in Britain's streets, alleys, kennel clubs, etc. Acts appearing include:

Sir Elton John.
Sir Richard Attenborough.
Dame Madge Ritchie.
Dame Maggie Smith.
Sir Eric "Look, No Hands" Clapton.
Sir Sting, doing some jazz nonsense, as usual.
Dame Edith Sitwell.
Dame Annie Lennox - ARGG!! NOOO!!
Mister Mister.
Climbie Fischer.
Johnnie Hates Jazz.
That band that did "St. Elmo's Fire".
Dame Jen. Saunders & Dame Dawn French doing their hilarious White Stripes skit for a bit of light relief.
Sir Paul Macca, Sir Brian May and Ringo Starr doing "The Pipes Of Peace"
The Eagles (from America).
Mike And The Mechanics.
The Joolls Holland Big Band with Beverly Knight and Sir Bob Geldorrrff.
Excitement!! For the youngsters!! The exciting new young cutting edge "indie dance" sounds of Jesus Jones and EMF!!!
What is left of the Travellin' Wilburies.
Sir Phil Collins doing Motown songs.
Sir Cliff Richard & Dame Vera Lynn.
Sir Lenny Henry and Sir Billy Connolly berating us all for not taking it seriously enough.

So, come on everybody! Do your bit! We can all make history by making history poverty!!!

(... er, actually, I will not be able to be there. It is my birthday and I may be forced to let my hair down. Is it alright if I send a postal order instead?)

Annie Lennox!! I share your incredulity. It's like the whole of the Nineties and Noughties never happened. And Dido, Coldplay and Joss Stone - surely they should be otherwise engaged playing at some Deb's 18th Engagement party somewhere. Although if that band who played St Elmo's Fire are going to dust off their mullets, that might make up for the whole shoddy affair.
Happy birthday for this weekend!
Thank you for your birthday greetings Wyndham - as I'm hurtling towards the twilight years, I will try to celebrate in a low-key way.
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