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Friday, April 29, 2005

HAIR APPARENT 

A fond farewell this week to the dearly loved and departed Eammon Holmes - well, he has left the GMTV settee rather than this earthly realm. Of course, a few of those montages of the highlights of his career on the programme were shown. Apart from the fact that he has grown widthways (as we all do, unfortunately) the most striking thing to notice about his appearance has been the change in his hair colour.

In the early years, it was a dark brown colour.

As time passed, it started to go grey.

Then, more recently, it became dark brown again, although is of a generally warmer hue - more flattering to a mature complexion, coincidentally enough.

Has Eammon found the secret of eternal youth?

Another tv personality who seems to have have drunk the same elixir is multi millionaire comedian Frank Skinner. His recent chatshow was running on ITV as the same time as one of his old series of chatshows was running on, oh, I don't know, UK Gold And A Half, or one of those channels you flick through during the Drunken Hour. Thing is, in the old series, Frank's hairline was disappearing at a rate of knots. Coming forward to 2005 and it has, incredibly, reversed back over his lightbulb shaped head.

How do a couple of blokes in their forties manage to step back from the precipice of loss of hair pigmentation and male pattern baldness? I mulled over this question for at least two minutes before I realised the answer was all too straightforward.

Both men are staunch Roman Catholics. God moves in mysterious ways - look at the Turin Shroud, or that statue of Mary which has apparently cried real tears, and was not witnessed by a local nun who had been at the cooking sherry, oh no.

As someone who has always suffered from dull, frizzy, lifeless hair which is becoming whiter by the day (despite nature being given a hand by Belle Color and any number of hair grooming products) perhaps saying three Hail Marys a day might have a satisfying outcome, and I will wake up one morning with long, silky chestnut coloured hair which shimmers and bounces in the sunlight the way it does on women who advertise Pantene shampoo.

As the late and great Dave Allen would have it, may your God go with you.

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