Monday, December 20, 2004


Jeremy Clarkson - Obviously the most obnoxious tv presenter, ever, bar none.
James Whale - Obviously the most obnoxious tv presenter, ever, bar one.
Donald Rumsfeld - Would put the fear of God into everyone.
John and Yoko - There's nothing worse than a couple in their own little lerve bubble.
Nicole Kidman, Gwyneth Paltrow and Cate Blanchett - Pretentious macrobiotic diet luvvy bints.
Vernon Kay
Keane - Just in case they get up to do a song.
Michele McManus, Ric Waller and Dawn French - "Who's eaten all the dessert?"
Jools Holland - Just in case he sneaks in his piano. "HOOTENANY!!"
Any Daily Mail columnist
Natasha Bedingfield - The most promising pop newcomer, apparently. Would spout loads of useless positive platitudes along the lines of "you've only got the one life, it's up to you to make the change" etc etc.
Kate Thornton, (deejays) Emma B and Margarita Taylor - Banality in three persons.
The Pope - Just imagine if he finally keeled over for good during the meal - the embarrassment.

In the interests of balance, a list of dream dinner party guests will appear soon.

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