Saturday, December 25, 2004


I am not really here, in any sense of the word.

When we get together at with family at Christmas, we attempt to be nice, jolly people and to rub along happily - this frankly goes against the grain for a lot of us. I can remember that my mother, who was normally quite a hot tempered person, would be completely exhausted by about mid afternoon on Christmas Day from trying her utmost to be sweet natured and easy going.

Today is the day when people from Christian countries realise that they are part of a really dysfunctional family, which isn't that much to worry about - everyone else's dysfunctional family makes up the huge dysfunctional family to which we all belong. Christmas Day gatherings, weddings, funerals - the only time when we behave in a vaguely Christian way. We'd rather be somewhere else, doing something we enjoy with people we actually like, but, because of a sense of duty, we attend these functions. It's the nearest most of us get to selflesseness in this day and age.

I am going outside now. I may be some time.

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