Friday, December 03, 2004

"I'm in a wide open space, it's freezing". So Mansun's Paul Draper sings courtesy of the stereogram as I write this. As apt a description of the build up to Christmas as any, I suppose. I was intending to do some sort of advent calendar from the first of December but it went belly up as my attempt to create a new post on Wednesday as an opener was met by a message advising me that an error had occurred and some engineers would be sorting out the problem. Naturally, full of anticipation, I was expecting a couple of engineers (preferably looking a bit like Howard and Jason from Take That) to turn up at Utility Heights to "sort out the little problem", heh heh. No such luck, but everything seems to be up and running again anyway. Most unfortunate.

Still, I shall persevere in providing some sort of daily observation of Christmas, past, present, future, devoid of any kind of consistency and definitely nowhere near as good as the daily song on the Spoil Victorian Child blog, with the accompanying picture of a bird in the snow. I'll probably run out of ideas within the week.

First up, and starting on a positive note (i.e., going against my usual instincts) I have to put in a good word for Wilko's Fat Bellied Santa, the Christmas decoration "must buy" of the week. This loathsome looking little bastard will, hopefully, make small children burst into tears as, rather than being a kindly avuncular figure, it resembles the sort of fellow who would be in the chair on "Trisha" at the centre of a storyline which says "MY LOVER RAN OFF WITH MY MOTHER AND THEN MADE MY 16 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER PREGNANT!!!" I don't know if it smells of unwashed feet, breaks wind and comes with accompanying eight pack of Tennants super extra extra but I do hope so. It seems to have been designed expressly to cause grandmothers to say "what did you buy that blummin' thing for - it's blummin' 'orrible!" All you could ever want from anything, ever, and only £9.99.

This is not a suitable toy for a child under 18 months old.

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